Roy Hayes – Meher Road, Kiels Mountain

It was in 1967 that I first heard of Meher Baba. Previously, I had walked away from the Church because of my perception of its focus on exclusivity and fear. I concluded, ‘If this is religion, it's not good enough!’ and I lost faith in both the Church and God. In 1967 something began stirring in me, and I began searching for something better in life – though I was not sure what it was.

Then I read a newspaper article by Adrian Rawlins entitled, 'Beyond the Ego,' and that was the first time I saw Baba's name. It told of Baba and His teachings. As I read about Baba, I enthusiastically thought, ‘Yes! Yes! This is what I believe! however, I wish He wouldn't say He was God.’ I also came across a brochure that Bill Le Page and Ken Petrie had printed about Baba, which impressed me greatly.

In July 1968, I had a life-changing experience when Baba came into my life. I discovered the God who was a thousand times more than I could have ever imagined. Ros (Rosalind – my wife) was on night duty at Marrickville Hospital, this special night. As I lay down to sleep at about 8 o'clock, Baba came to me. I couldn't see Him; however, I knew it was Him as He talked to me, telling me who he was and what he was doing. When I asked how I could hear His voice, He gave me an explanation that satisfied my mind. During the two hours, He was with me; he was making profound changes in me, like doing surgery in my mind. He said, ‘I’ll be back the same time tomorrow night.’ He came, just as he said, and stayed for another two hours. Then again, at the same time on the third and final night, He stayed for only three-quarters of an hour before leaving.

The next morning was a Thursday, I remember waking up, and I just knew that He was God! Every bit of me knew it! I excitedly told Ros and all my friends that, ‘Baba is God.’ While they were thinking, ‘He’s gone crazy,’ I thought, ‘God is on earth, and everyone should know.’

Ever since then, nothing’s been the same. Everything has been different in a most positive way. That experience with Baba stays with me and is more real than many other events in this life. He transformed me into what Rosalind describes as a much better person. Even my karma seemed to change. I had a bit of a hippie mentality, without real direction, before Baba influenced my life, but then I became much more focused and alive.

Finding Baba’s contact address in a book, I wrote a letter to Him. In reply, I received the most beautiful letter written by Francis Brabazon, who was living in India as one of Baba’s Mandali. It was the first time I had read the poetic words of Francis. (Baba’s Australian disciple and poet). In the letter, amongst other things, I was told to make contact with Meher Baba people and to seek out other Baba devotees. I did make contact and became part of the Meher House Baba group in Sydney. Then an invitation came saying the group could go to India and see Baba. It was so thrilling to have the chance of meeting God in human form; I would tingle at the thought. It was a big financial commitment for us in 1969. Ros and I started saving money for me to go to the Sahavas.

On the night 31st of January 1969, I placed posters that we had printed of Baba’s face on the pylons of Sydney Harbour Bridge, which stayed up for about six months. Many people would have seen His beautiful face. However, the next day I learned that Meher Baba had dropped His physical body the day before. At first, I was devastated, then about two hours later, I realised that I could still feel Him. He was still here! Baba felt the same to me. He has always felt the same to me as He did since He first came to me. I could imagine the heartbreaking impact of losing His physical form must have had for those who had lived with Him or been in His physical presence when He had a human body.

The feeling of excitement when boarding the plane to go to the Great Darshan in 1969 remains with me. Leigh Rowan and Steven Campbell were seated behind me. During the flight, there was an incident when we flew into an air pocket, and the plane dropped maybe a thousand feet, giving us quite a shakeup. I remember the plane landed in Perth to refuel and meeting an old friend at the airport who asked me where I was going. He seemed a bit mystified when I told him I was going to India and of my reason for doing so.

It was about 12:30 at night when we landed at Bombay airport and saw Jal and Dolly Dastoor waving to us from the top of the old airport buildings. While driving through the streets of Bombay, I found myself thinking, ‘My God, people are sleeping out in the open!’ It was a bit of a shock. We then went to a hotel and, after settling into our rooms, came down to meet Francis Brabazon. I remember that meeting so clearly. He was a little guy who had a hat on and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He was unpretentious, it was easy to underestimate him, yet he was a most wonderful man.

The next day we flew to Aurangabad for a few days before going to Pune for the Sahavas. It was the month of May, so summer conditions in India - a scorching 40 degrees C. Some of us young men were in a hotel with no air conditioning; however, being young, it didn’t bother us. We had tasty meals and a lot of frivolities. One day we saw this impressive building in the distance that looked like the Taj Mahal. It is called the ‘Mini-Taj.’ so, thinking it was just a short distance down the road, we started to walk to it. Having walked for some time in the heat, we began to feel the sun and were becoming heat exhausted. I thought ‘are were in trouble, really in trouble.’ Then just as we were feeling a bit desperate, we came across this mosque with not only a lot of shade but also a pool beside it with a Coca Cola machine; this saved the day! A short time after, some horses and carriages came by, and we were able to catch a ride back to the hotel, so we didn’t get to the Mini-Taj that day. It turned out to be fourteen miles away! I remember it in retrospect as quite some adventure.

Then we flew back to Pune and were met by Dr. Donkin, one of Baba’s Mandali. He was a sweet, lovely mannered man but seemed to be quite absent-minded. A bit vague – yet there was a good feeling about him, and what I imagine was like a Mast (advanced soul). Francis was there too, and they ushered us into the Amir hotel, where I shared a room with John Borthwick.

Then came the first day at Guruprasad. There was an incredible feeling of excitement at bowing down to Baba in His chair and finding Him very present. It felt like I had come home. We met the women Mandali who were at the back on the left of Baba’s chair, and the men Mandali were on the right. I can’t exactly remember what happened on specific days. However, I remember the performances and talks. We performed ‘The Horse and the Rabbit,’ a play written by Francis. The performance wasn’t very polished, but it got a lot of accolades. There was a lot of mirth, and the Mandali really liked it.

On one of the days, I remember the Mandali taking us into a room to the right of the main hall where they told us, “This is where we sat with Baba, and at times we would play cards with Him.” That was the first time I felt close to the Mandali, having begun to get to know them better, especially Eruch, who I remember being dressed in white. Later over the next thirty to forty years. I would come to love the Mandali and to regard them as the finest people on earth. The thought came to me, “My God, what must have Baba been like when He has disciples of this calibre?”

What happened when I went to Guruprasad? There was this feeling of love that permeated the place and just kept growing! In a postcard to Ros, I wrote at the time (but found again six months ago). I wrote, ‘This place is on fire with love.’ It was just like that - a furnace! I knew Baba to be God from the time when He came to me; however, I hadn’t experienced His burning love as I did at Guruprasad. It was entirely new, quite different, a fire that profoundly changed my life. I knew, "This is the person I would die for! This is The One."

One day, Francis came with us when we went on a bus trip to Meherazad. We were shown around the buildings that Baba frequented, and I remember going into Mehera’s kitchen. It was intensely interesting with a lovely feeling about it, but not nearly as much atmosphere as when we visited at later times when the Mandali women were there.

We then went to Meherabad and up to Baba’s Samadhi. The interesting thing was that I didn’t feel His strong presence in the Samadhi while, at Guruprasad, where the presence was amazinnnggg. When I told this to Francis years later, he said, “He wasn’t there [at the Samadhi] for you, He was at Guruprasad where the Sahavas was.” But of course! These days I find the Samadhi has the overwhelming presence of Baba. Where the world for me slows then stops, and starts again when I visit, just as Guruprasad did. I get strongly drawn to Meherazad/Meherabad every year.

At Meherabad, we saw the different buildings where Baba had slept and worked at different times. We met Padri, who was a strong, wonderful disciple of Baba. We then met Mohammed, the Mast, then Sidhu, who sang for us in the Rahuri Cabin, his mesmerising song, ‘Meher Baba - God-Man’. I was curious about Mohammed, as I had some knowledge of who masts (spiritually advanced souls) were. Later, in the early ’80s, I felt connected to him when he gave me some chocolate. Then in the ’90s, he gave me his beanie (hat), and, in the early 2000s, I gave him acupuncture. When I had inserted the needles, I wondered who was treating whom.

We again traveled to Pune and spent more time going to Guruprasad where the Darshan was held. Francis gave a beautiful talk, ’The Mighty Beloved.’; it was so moving and so touching – it was about his observations of those attending the ‘Great Darshan.’ He saw a special order of love from the pilgrims who had come across the ocean to bow down in their hearts without ever seeing their Beloved before we had even met him. I had respect for Francis. Having read his words, sung his words. I wondered who this guy is? Who can write like this? His reading was most powerful. It moved our hearts.

I didn’t see any apparent grieving by the Mandali though I didn’t know them well enough to be sure. Mehera probably was, but they put on an excellent performance. Like Baba says, ‘no matter how much you’re suffering, put on a happy face.’ And they did - making us feel part of the place as they looked after every facet of our wellbeing. Upon returning home, I felt full of Baba’s love, and I would like to think that Rosalind and our unborn baby got the benefit of that.

The whole time at the Great Darshan in India was just fantastic.